"Every time I think about it, all I feel is angry!"

"Every time I think about it, all I feel is angry!" These words were spoken by a friend who is in the same shitty grad student situation I was in just a little over 2 years ago. Like me, she wrote her doctoral dissertation and has been put off by an advisor who doesn't give a damn. Unlike me, she doesn't get weekly emails with lame-ass excuses from her advisor, she actually had absolutely no contact with her advisor for 2 years. Her advisor even took a sabbatical to work with the Obama administration without even notifying her! Her university, unlike mine, DID step in -after 3 years when she refused to pay any more tuition without any progress on her degree! Although all her university has accomplished is re-establishing email contact between her and her advisor. She was supposed to have a defense date by now...she still hasn't received permission to distribute her thesis. Boy, do I know how that feels. I don't blame her at all for being angry. 2 years later and I can honestly say that whenever I think about how I was treated, I still get angry. Not just the "it really pissed me off" abstract angry but "I see red and I'm bound and determined to do whatever I can to 1. make sure it doesn't happen to anyone else and 2. make sure that no one I know even THINKS that attending that university is a good idea!

Revenge is a bitch and I'm really good at being a bitch. Yes, it would probably be healthier to forgive and forget. However, NOTHING would change. That is just NOT acceptable to me. If just thinking about the situation makes me angry 2 years later, then it is not some minor annoyance. I lost 3 years to Professor Sunshine's decision to not give a damn about my dissertation. That is 3 years of having to depend on others to support me. That is 3 years of canceling plans with friends because I just didn't have the money to go out. That is 3 years of depression and self-doubt for which there was no actual reason. I can't let it go. However, the ONLY things I can do is steer people away from that university and do whatever I can to get graduate education reformed in the US. Clearly, with the same thing happening to different students in different programs at different universities is an indication that something isn't right with our system and something needs to change. I think the best change would be for your advisor to NOT have a seat on your committee and NOT have a say in when you graduate, similar to the British system. Yes, the British system can be a bit harsh at times, but if you aren't going to get a degree, they flat out tell you. I haven't heard of anyone being strung along like I was in that system.