Move to MS

I hadn't mentioned it on my blog, but since last September, I've been working on obtaining a job as a government scientist. This job is truly my dream job- no teaching, about 2 months of grant writing per year and the rest of the time in the lab. Oh- and I only have to work on a particular project for 3-5 years. No studying a random protein on a random virus for the rest of my career. Only downside is that the job is in MS.

2 days after my grandfather's funeral, I set out for MS with my Great Dane, Darwin. 90% of the items in the Jeep were for Darwin- I had a single suitcase and a backpack with my electronics. We made it to the half-way point in VA without any issues. The following day, we took longer rest stops - mostly because Darwin insisted on spending an hour rolling in the grass in the beautiful warm TN sunshine. Can't say I blame him, 70F felt very nice considering it was 20F when we set out the previous day! After we left the TN rest stop, I got a call from my landlord. My apartment was not going to be available to me upon my arrival in MS (despite the fact the landlord had already cashed my rent check AND had an additional week to get the apartment ready as I moved a week later than initially planned due to my grandfather's death). However, the landlord offered to put me up in a corporate apartment until my apartment was ready. OK. Not happy about this as I wanted to get Darwin settled in my new apartment before I started work, but what can I do? I show up at the corporate apartment at 10PM- only to discover that the previous tenant smoked menthols. I have always had a severe asthmatic reaction to menthols- there is no way I can stay in this apartment even for a single night! Of course, I can't get ahold of the landlord, so I left a pissy message and frantically called my husband. DH located a pet friendly motel for me, so I called and verified that they had a room. I was expecting some sort of sleazy place, but the motel was actually nicer than the more expensive hotel we'd stayed at the previous night. Darwin especially enjoyed the king-sized bed.


The next day, I got a call from the landlord saying that she is very sensitive to cigarette smoke and never had a problem with the corporate apartment. I responded that sensitivities come in different strengths- and mine was likely greater than hers as I'd been reacting for 30+ years. The landlord then informed me that she'd inspected the apartment and it was ready for me to move in. She couldn't meet me with the key as she had a meeting, but she had a friend bring the key over. I went to the apartment and was appalled at how filthy it was. There was a layer of plaster dust all the way up the hall (I don't think that even a token attempt was made to clean it), the kitchen counters (white) were covered in stains and I don't even want to think about how nasty the bathroom and oven were. Needless to say $400 in cleaning supplies (including 2 boxes of disposable gloves), and the apartment is at least clean....

Quick Update

Since my last post, my beloved Grandpa has passed away, I've moved "down South" and I've started working as a government scientist. I have much to write about and I promise I'll post more soon. RIP Grandpa.

Been bothering me for a while....

So I'm a season ticket holder for an NHL team and have been for 2 years. In that two years, I've seen multiple airlines sponsor the starting lineup announcements. Didn't bother me in the slightest when Southwest or Jet Blue sponsored them last season. However, Air Tran has been sponsoring them this season and it really, really irks me. Why? Air Tran is NOT friendly to people traveling with hockey gear. In fact, they were downright hostile. The last time DH and I flew to a hockey tournament (he is a goalie) we unfortunately flew Air Tran. DH has been traveling with goalie equipment since he was in grade school, so he has a lot of experience toting his equipment around. He uses 2 hockey bags (essentially very large duffel bags) so that his equipment does not exceed the weight limits. Yes, the dimensions of the bags technically exceed the accepted dimensions- for a hard case. However, Air Tran (just like Southwest, Delta, and USAir), states that if the bag is soft-side, the measurements are taken via compressing the bag. As each bag is less than half-full, not a problem. Flying Air Tran to the tournament was no problem. We had to pay extra for his sticks, but that is generally the case (they exceed dimensions) unless we fly first class or Air Canada (hockey equipment flies free on Air Canada!). On the way home, however, the Air Tran officials would not follow their stated policy of measuring the bags at their compressed measurement. When we complained to the manager we were told, well, if you persist in complaining, I will charge you 2x the fee because you didn't get charged flying here. Manager then refused to give me a statement of his measurements of the bag. He even refused to give me a copy of the exact baggage policy they use (since they weren't following the one published on the web). Apparently, they can randomly decide that something is too big and they don't even have to furnish you with their measurements. Two written complaints to Air Tran were ignored until I got the better business bureau involved. Even then, all they would give me was an Air Tran credit for $30 (fee was $100). Like we were ever going to fly that airline again! I donated the credit and all of our airline miles to Fisher House Foundation (provides flights for family members of soldiers wounded in action). Even then, I felt guilty that I was condemning some poor worried family member to having to deal with Air Tran!

Worst HR Rep Ever

Last October, I got contacted by the worst HR rep ever. First, he called and left a message- without referencing a job or a job number. When I called him back, I found out he was calling about a job application that I had filled out back in January- 10 months prior! He was quite annoyed that I didn't even recall his company nevermind what the position entailed. Most of the time when I get called by an HR rep months after applying to a position, they tell me that they've emailed the job description to me to refresh my memory and to return their call after I've looked it over. To appease him, I requested that he email me the job description and that I would call him back when I had looked over the details. I then call the guy back and he basically tells me that he is contacting me because they still haven't filled the position. He then implies that I am his last choice but HIS boss said that he wanted to interview me. Can we say unprofessional? He then tried to set up a phone interview with me the following evening at 7:30PM. He was surprised when I stated that the time was not convenient for me as I had a prior commitment (I had plans to attend a sporting event). He then told me that "you know, someone in your position can't pick and choose." I wasn't picking and choosing- he proposed a time that didn't work for me. For all he knew, I had scheduled another interview at that time or was working the late shift somewhere. So I simply reiterated that I had a prior commitment and asked for the next available interview opening. He told me that he'd have to get back to me. He then called me back at 7:45AM on a Saturday morning to schedule an interview. I was actually out walking the dog and returned the call when I returned. He then stated that if I wanted a job at his company, I would have to get used to getting up earlier (ummm....I can't tell you the number of times in grad school I started an experiment at 4AM in order to time it so that shared equipment would be available). I didn't reply to that statement...just let a long drawn out silence develop. He then responded "Well..." I replied that I was returning his call, why did he call me? He then responded that he called me to schedule an interview, but had changed his mind as he didn't think I'd be a good fit for his company. At this point, I was wondering what sort of reputable company can't fill a position in 10 months and works these sort of crazy hours. So I just replied I'm sorry he felt that way and wished him a enjoyable weekend. I then dismissed the entire incident from my mind until today. Yes, today, a Sunday, when I received a "LinkedIn" request from him. Yeah, because it's a good idea to network with someone who has implied that you are lazy and not worth employing. Oh, and I checked, the position I applied for- it is still open.

Not sure what to think

So I messed up. I forgot to mail HH's birthday card until the day of her birthday. I truly meant to call her and wish her happy birthday (she may be psychotic and mean, but she is my grandmother). However, right as we finished dinner, we had an emergency call from the neighbors. My neighbor has been battling cancer for 22 years. She's gone into remission a few times, but it always comes back. In October, she had brain surgery to remove a tumor. Several months of therapy later, she is still experiencing seizure-like symptoms. After a long day at the hospital, she fell trying to get up the stairs to her house (therapists WANT her doing stairs, hence no wheel chair ramp). Her wheel chair is impossibly heavy, so the neighbors called for help carrying it and her up the stairs as neighbor's husband and daughter couldn't quite manage it. DH and Dad were both out, so that left me. I can lift about 40lbs when walking up stairs. Obvious solution is to carry neighbor up separately from her chair, but she is so exhausted that she can't assist and we were afraid of dropping her without the support of the wheelchair. So I proposed that the neighbor's daughter and I take the bottom of the chair while the husband took the top. Working together this way, we got my neighbor and her chair up the stairs and into her house. In all this excitement, I forgot all about HH's birthday until after 9PM. I called HH at 10 the next morning, got her machine and apologized profusely and wished her a happy birthday. Tried 2x more to get ahold of her, but kept getting the machine. Dad gets home from his weekly visit today, and tells me that she was snippy with him because I forgot to call on her birthday because the neighbors are clearly more important to me. There is a grain of truth to that statement, which is probably why it hurts, but at the same time, I owned up to what I did wrong and apologized. What more can I do? Tell the neighbor, "Would you mind waiting out in the cold for 10 minutes while I call my grandmother and wish her happy birthday?"

Fa-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la

About 2 years ago, my paternal grandmother (aka Horrible Henrietta or HH) was absolutely miserable to my mother and I when we went to bring her home from a self-induced hospital stay (she OD'ed on Imodium- this was not the first OR last time she has done something like this). HH was nasty to us at the hospital, at the pharmacy where we picked up her prescriptions, and at her home when we dropped her off. My mother and I left her house and went to finish our Christmas card shopping. We spent 45 minutes trying to pick out a card for HH, discarding card after card as too nice or too phony. Actually, it was quite therapeutic. We arrived home to a voice mail diatribe of accusations. Accusations which HH later claimed that my mother and I made up, essentially accusing us of lying, adding yet another accusation to the pile. At which point my father replayed the voice mail for her. Not once has she ever apologized for her behavior or for the pain she caused. Subsequently, I have only gone to visit my grandmother when there are 3rd party witnesses, like when she is in the hospital or a nursing facility. The sole exception to this is when I visit her at Christmas- even then I make sure to go when my father or brothers are present. I have written to HH explaining my reasoning and my absolute refusal to have anything to do with her unless she seeks psychiatric treatment. Clearly, when someone ODs on Imodium multiple times as well as deliberately hurting the people helping her, that person is sick. In fact, after this particular Imodium incident, the hospital set up an outpatient psych consult, which HH canceled. While I recognize HH has a right to refuse such treatment, I feel that I have a right not to have to deal with her psychotic abuse. Periodically since my letter, she has reached out to me, but never expressing any regret for the pain she caused me. She still categorically refuses to see a psychiatrist. One of the times she has reached out to me was this week in a Christmas card where she expressed the sentiment "When are you just going to get over this?" Not, "I'm sorry for my behavior." Not "I'm sorry I hurt you." Not, "please forgive me." No. She put it all on me...like this whole situation is some failing of mine. I'm sorry, but if you hurt me once, shame on you. If you hurt me twice, shame on me- for allowing you into a position where you could hurt me again! When is enough enough?

What ever happened to nice old ladies?

About a week or so ago I had a very interesting conversation with a friend about the lack of nice old ladies. Think about it- when was the last time you encountered a nice polite old lady? I regularly encounter mean old ladies, rude old ladies, funny old ladies, insane old ladies but rarely encounter a genuinely nice, polite old lady. For example, I was shopping at the Christmas Tree Shop 2 weeks ago and was browsing in the card section. All of the sudden my cart smashed into my shins. I looked up startled and a cranky old lady who had just rammed her cart into mine looked at me and said "Well, it was in MY way." Another old lady passing in the opposite direction looked at the situation and loudly commented "What a bitch!" I hope that comment was directed at the old lady who bruised my shins, but in all likelihood, it was probably directed at my inability to move my cart out of the other old lady's way!

The sad thing is, this type of behavior is all too common over the past few years. About 3 years ago, after being "abused" by the mean old ladies at the grocery store, I made a rule for myself- I only help people that ask me to NICELY. Why reward bad behavior? I wouldn't put up with behavior like that from a child, why should I put up with it from an adult?